


Precious observation video of early wild supervision students

by 1061340739



Series: dokidoki [3]
Category: Twisted-Wonderland (Video Game)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-12 22:53:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29018508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1061340739/pseuds/1061340739
Summary: Use machine translation with Chinese original text
Relationships: Malleus Draconia/Reader, Malleus Draconia/Yuu | Player
Series: dokidoki [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2128836
Kudos: 1





	Precious observation video of early wild supervision students

**Author's Note:**

> Use machine translation with Chinese original text

Some time ago, I fell asleep in crewel's class because of a bad cold. As a result, the homework after class doubled for no reason. Moreover, the culprit, grime, took away the food expenses far beyond the original plan from me on the pretext that I was on the road of pursuing knowledge and delayed it filling its stomach. He went to grab the luxury tuna can group which was very popular on magicam recentlyIn order to survive to the next round of funds, I ate pickled steamed bread for half a month, and I could smell the smell of chili sauce from my body when I lowered my head.

When I wake up late at night and can only drink cold water, I always curse in my heart how the cat hasn’t survived. The can is the size of his two heads when it’s packed. If it’s cleaned up, it can be used as a metal bed for him. Grime has to open one can a day, which once made me doubt that the average monthly income of the college has reached the five digit well-off level. When I open the deposit with full expectationApp, I hope yasasi will find out his conscience and deduct my funds at one time, so that my children can improve their food. The bright red deficit makes me want to poke my eyes and slap me in the face to wake up my head with the remnants of the ignorant old society.

Half a month later, I resisted bravely and went to eat more food. Against Jamil’s sharp eyes, I swept away two thirds of Kalim’s dinner lunches. It was like a little daughter-in-law who had been wronged outside and went out to her mother’s home. While eating, I cried and denounced Grimm as a heartless fool. In his eyes, my years of cohabitation with him was just a play on the spot, just unnecessaryHis physiological needs can make him betray the noble proletarian revolutionary organization and join in the embrace of capitalism. In the war years, he must be a traitor and villain, and he will not be able to catch up with the cost of killing pigs if he stays for the Spring Festival.Scarabia

Kalim is the best person I have ever met. He not only generously gave up his Bento, but also invited me to attend Jamil’s private tutor in scarabia Liao tonight. The client coughed behind us and woke up the cat sleeping in the tree. However, in view of the fact that my academic performance is stable at the single digit level all the year round, if I don’t save another wave, I’m afraid deuce will be able to dominate me next yearTherefore, I pretended to be a deaf and blind man, learned Azul’s ability of not listening to people, and asked Jamil kindly if he needed to go to the infirmary. Recently, the temperature has changed a lot, so he should pay attention to his health.

The long white eyes of the Deputy Liao were almost turned to the sky.

It turns out that I overestimated my learning literacy. Jamil prepared everything for us to concentrate, from cold refreshments to iced drinks. He had all kinds of food and drinks. His skills were really good. Unfortunately, the textbook was more powerful. Without turning a few pages, I turned into a drunken butterfly and lost myself in a wonderful dreamThe front is full of all kinds of lively Mandela grass, holding the camera to me all the way, grime is sitting on the Throne made of gold, a group of shameless goblins around it, competing for splendor. I take a breath and say good to you, grime. My mother is selling her blood for you to eat and drink, but you are at home with the beautiful lady.

I just wanted to go up and denounce this kind of malpractice that insults the appearance of the city, and save grime from a pile of red powder skeletons. The cat is innocent. If you have any tricks, just come at me. I’m in good health and can hold on!Don’t want to get close to see, good guy, where is what beautiful little sister ah, is not a group of tuna in flower clothes!

Half asleep and half awake, I heard Jamil’s voice criticizing Kalim. His teachings were like a heroic mother supporting a single parent family alone. The words were so kind and wordy that I couldn’t help holding my head down and yelling, "master, don’t read them!"Obviously, Kamil is used to it. He is still chewing snacks with a smile. His mouth is too busy to stop. He says vaguely, "Jamil, you are like my mother."

Deputy Liaochang took a deep breath. I felt the omen of the chicken feather duster winding up from his calm before the storm. The target was Kalim ‘"What’s the matter with mom and dad!Chest thigh long buttock warped black skin male mother is not good? Not fragrant? Not astringent!If you want a male mother, you want a male mother, you want a male mother! "Scarabia

It was 10 o’clock in the evening when people came and went outside the reception room. My words were amazing. I didn’t care about the volume at all, so the sound was so loud that it sounded half of the sky. In a short three seconds, it seemed that everyone on the scene had been cursed. Even the howling wind in the desert night disappeared quietly. Jamil slowly turned his head and looked at me like an eagle staring at its prey. He didn’t move to stop at the doorThe students who dare not move smile kindly. The smile is really beautiful. It’s like the whispers of goblins in the dark forest. At ordinary times, with my temperament of running with my facial features, even under great pressure, I have to lick my face to meet my eyes. But at the moment, I just want to run like those students. The real man never looks back at the explosion. That’s the big reasonIt may be that they absolutely don’t want to show that they are only half of the clothes left behind by the fire.

There is no one around. The moon is dark and the wind is high. It’s a good time to kill people and set fire.

Jamil closed the textbook, cocked his legs in a noble posture, narrowed his eyes without a smile, and his face was full of bright words. You see my face is peaceful, and I’m not angry at all: "what did you just say?"

I believe that at that moment, his desire to attack me has reached the peak, and his bladder almost went out of control with expression management. The wisest choice at the moment should be to shrink behind Kalim and shiver. As the saying goes, "lustful heart without lustful courage" is mostly what I am now. However, only by criticizing people, soul and future, can I have a good future. I dare not even show my own XP system, and dare to claim myselfIs it the old batch?Supervisor, you have to stand up!

At this moment, the glory of the goddess of water wisdom must be enveloping her most devout believers. First seduce her, then wait for an opportunity, look back and dig out, then you can surprise her. As long as I run fast enough, death can’t catch up with me, and I’m a genius in escape.

So my neck is a stem, my heart is a horizontal, and my breath is not enough to shake my arms and shout: "long live, male mother?"

In countless awe, the eyes with remembrance projected to me from the exit of the passenger room. It was obvious that the time of death had been predetermined for me in advance. Kalim, a little fool who could not join in the fun, was just like me, raising his hands and shouting together. He did not realize the solemn and stirring feeling of my death, but everything was not important. I didn’t need anythingFoot, a supervisor fell, thousands of supervisors stood up!As long as we keep moving forward, the road of Lao Shipi will continue to extend. Even if Jamil has caught my ear, the pursuit of men and women will never stop!As long as the old people don’t stop, there must be me in front of the road, so don’t stop!

I don’t know if this heart shaking roar has been conveyed to the crowd’s thoughts, but the ears are really painful. Jamil is skilled in using snacks to block Kalim’s mouth, then put my head on the textbook, and threatened me not to sleep if I didn’t finish the prescribed task tonight.

This threat is really terrible. I always regard sleep as one of the essential elements in my life. Three meals can be poor, four bodies can be absent, and more than eight hours of sleep a day must be guaranteed. What’s the difference between a day without eight hours of sleep and a sentence?Under such a high risk, I had to be a tough guy, and temporarily stopped my unremitting pursuit of upgrading XP system.

But the crisis is far from over.

My spirit was suddenly shocked, and I realized that the stagnation of the wind was not a simple adjective. The cold air around me was like countless multi legged insects, climbing up my back along the trouser legs, showing a ferocious face.

Jamil’s reaction was faster than mine. He quickly put layers of defense magic around Kalim and me, but it didn’t ease my panic at all.

It’s beside me, like a snake spitting red letter, rough scales grinding my back neck, clinging to the softest and most nervous place, suddenly like thunder, branding a deep brand.

I passed out on the spot.

The next day I woke up from my bed, it was still early, I am afraid it was the earliest time in my term, half of the salted duck egg like sun fell on the edge of the horizon, just like I was half dead.

I pick up the sleeping grime, brush my teeth and wash my face, and rush to the canteen. In the morning, there are leftovers with low price, which is better than eating steamed bread.

I don’t know if it’s because I got up too early. As usual, those colleagues who seemed to have been queuing up in the middle of the night are only scattered in every corner today. From the canteen to the classroom, the bustling college is so quiet that it’s frightening. If ace hadn’t stepped on the bell as usual and floated to my seat with a slide shovel, I would even wonder if yasasi didn’t give me a holidayNotice is due.

Now that my brother is here, everything is easy to say. I put all my textbooks in front of me, piled up as high as a hill. The sequelae of having enough to eat and drink is fierce. Maybe I got up too early, and the pressure from my eyelids kept urging me to fall into deep sleep. I pushed ace’s shoulder and asked him to watch the teacher roll call for me. My head tilted and I fell unconscious.

If I had known what would happen later, I would not have slept so soundly.

I was shaken up by ACE.

There was no one in the classroom, except my three good brothers. They formed a standard triangle camp and looked at me with a scientific attitude. Grime even reached out and touched my forehead: "no fever?"

I didn’t know, so I asked them naively, "are you going to have lunch?Why is there no one in the classroom? "

They took a breath together.

Ace broke my shoulder and forced me to turn to a blank position in the aisle. His voice was shaking. It was only when we met for the first time but almost dropped out of school that we showed a little fear: "supervisor, can’t you see Mr. crewel?"

There’s no one in the aisle, ace. It’s not funny.

Suddenly, I suddenly understood the meaning of ace. In a flash, my hands and feet were cold, and the cold air at the base of my tongue penetrated into my bones. My uncontrollable physical shaking made my joints click.

The campus desolation is not the problem of students, but my problem.

I can’t see them.

After careful calculation, this is the first time that I enter the medical room of the school in a sober state according to my personal will. Usually, deuce sent me here, because grime, the initiator of my fainting, can’t move me, and he can’t just throw away my human food ticket.

Among the people this cat knows, deuce is the only one who has leisure and is not afraid of trouble. Finding deuce means finding ace at the same time. These two people are one of the most famous conjoined DKs on campus. They eat, sleep, play beans and even go home to the same mirror. Only Kalim and Jamil can wear the same pair of pants. But Jamil has a hundred ways to avoid Grimm and the troubles it bringsAs a result, ACE and deuce are the only stable employees of the Committee.

The division of labor for them to move me is also very clear. Ace takes the lead, and deuce makes efforts to deal with the aftermath one by one. In the long run, whenever grime goes to see them alone, ace will ask for the first time: "is the supervision really dead this time?"

Then I listened to the news that I was still alive and smacked my tongue with regret, because it was troublesome to persuade the teachers who came.

Although ace’s attitude of cursing me to death is really vicious, he wrote 2000 words of review for me. As his loving father, I have always been tolerant of the rebellious parts of my good sons. After all, I don’t want to write a review. Pretending to be dead is always easier than writing.

Among the hundreds of physical examinations from childhood to adulthood, this one must be the most confusing one I have experienced.I can’t see the evil spirit, as if I owe him millions of magic money of the medical teacher, also can’t see those have been deeply ground by him, pointed at any time can pierce my throat equipment, ACE let me look up, ACE let me open my mouth, ACE let me open my mouth, ace let me take off my clothes, I face bashful to him, the result he yelled at you to take off a coat, but don’t worryTake off your pants.

This man can’t do it. He can’t hold his breath at all. I didn’t pick his pants last time I played cards. Deuce’s pot. You tell deuce, why do you yell so loudly?What’s more, he didn’t really pick his pants.

After a mime like performance, I sat on the hospital bed and shook my legs. Grimm rarely kept quiet for a while, and even took the initiative to ask about the warm and cold. He asked me about the indoor temperature, whether it was cold or hot, whether I was thirsty, and the cup stuck to the tip of my nose. I was flattered. I thought this guy was rare and reliable at the critical momentI hand over the password of the payment app, so that I can’t eat fresh tuna cans after I evaporate. If you die, you will never die. I’m relieved to go and deal with it.

Husband and wife are birds in the same forest. They have been sleeping in the same bed for more than half a year. I still have expectations for grime. I don’t know whether to call me naive or stupid.

I didn’t drink that glass of water. I spilled it completely, and most of it spilled on Grimm’s tail, which made the civet cat howl.

There were continuous footsteps coming from outside the corridor. Kalim was the first one to break in. The angel began to cry at the first sight of me. He cried more like a patient with a precarious sense of existence than I did. Jamil followed him and stopped him strangling me before my cognitive impairment was complete. I threw myself on the bed and coughed wildly, almost coughing up two pieces of internal organs. Kalim fell downHand is really heavy, just a few seconds, I almost thought I was going to suffocate.

"Supervisor!""Will you die?" he said

No, I owe you in my last life. It’s just a meal. How can I ask people to die when I see you?

I waved my hand to show that I was OK. The strongest species in the world is the Japanese high school student who is still studying. Although I am not in high school, I am also a young JK with good luck. I think the evil forces can’t stare at me, so I’m very generous. The dog fights with the human power: "where can I do it? It’s a small thing. It’s not a big problem."

Kalim is really easy to coax. As soon as he speaks, he is relieved. He smiles like an angel sent by heaven. Jamil stinks. He is obviously dissatisfied with my raving last night. However, due to the fact that I am a terminally ill patient with no medicine, he has the lowest pity for me.

"What’s the matter?"Jamil asked.

"There is no problem with the visual nerve, and there is no trace of being disturbed by magic. The reason is unknown."Ace replied.

"If it was magic, I couldn’t have found it."This is a bad word, but Jamil does have the capital of bad breath. Even if he had summoned his fist to attack at that time, he would bear the humiliation before attacking me directly, and he would take my life from the assassin who came to assassinate Kalim.

Most of the people who were present were not those who liked to be quiet. If they opened their mouths, they could make the five Buddhas and the six souls come out of their bodies. However, they were rarely cold. No one spoke for a few minutes, and their faces were not good-looking.

My forehead was sweating, and my stomach was distended by this serious atmosphere. I just felt that tens of thousands of insects were tumbling in my stomach, and there was something wrong with my whole body. It was not hot at all.

I’m the source of silence. I’m a ghost doll whose eyes are covered by invisible hands. The children jump and kick behind me. When I stop, they save a innocent person’s life for their own use and continue the next game.

Before long, elder Carter appeared at the door with a blank face.

"Come out, the Dean has something to do with you," he blinked at me immediately, as if the solemnity I had captured was just a moment’s illusion, and his expression was more vivid than I was like a real JK. "Supervisor, do you need to take a picture now?"

Carter’s level of drawing repair is much better than mine. Usually I want him to help me repair two pictures that I can see. I have to work as a tool man with him for most of the day. Now he comes to the door on his own initiative. I’m so happy that I reach out and want to catch deuce as the background board.

But I caught a blank.

“Deuce？”

My smile is fixed on my face.

Deuce’s not here.

Carter, who just offered to take photos with me, hugged Kalim, who cried heartily, and Jamil, who could beat me down at any time, scolded me for pulling his pants.

And grime.

No one is here.

Just a little blink.

My world has never been so quiet. It’s like a dilapidated hut in the middle of the night, a ramshackle building in the cold moonlight. When I wake up, even Jiao taro is absent. I stand alone in the courtyard, my breath is so shallow that I can’t breathe. I’m not close to the living and the dead. I’m as pale as if I’ve just stepped out of the nether worldSecond will fall to the ground can not rise, the body will die.

Loneliness can kill a person.

The gray shadow has not gone over my ankles, my knees, my thighs, the day, but my vision is a little bit, a little bit dark down, those self wake up from the coffin like a shadow of the haze is taking advantage of the moment of emptiness, constantly fermenting, clusters, trying to absorb the air I rely on for survival.

I thought I had already left them behind. For half a year, I was so stupid that I didn’t want to think about it or worry about it. When I was a happy frog in the well, it was not.

They were right beside me, grinding their claws gracefully around the edge of the well, pouring into the well along a little gap, clasping my wrists, binding my calves, and dividing me into 26 pieces of bloody pork chops along the protruding vertebrae when I bent down.

There’s no place to run away, no one to blame.

I bent down, curled up limbs, teeth shaking, stumbling out of the irregular sound, although I have always admired myself, evolved intelligence, but put it on the shelf, waiting for the end of the emergency just to use it, natural and unrestrained, but it doesn’t matter, not at all, how can there be no problem, I’m a liar, big liar, I’m afraid to cry.

I was choked. The tumor from bitter water stuck in my throat. My palms were full of sweat, greasy and cold, and the corners of my clothes were wrinkled.

I got up mechanically and took two steps with the bed board. As soon as I released my hand, my feet softened and fell like a broken bone. My heart was filled with unspeakable despair. I didn’t dare to breathe. With a little effort, the whole world would collapse into a failed cream cake.

The smell of sterilized stinging nose gradually fills the nasal cavity, reminding me that I am still alive.

I gritted my teeth, got up and ran all the way.

Corridor, stone road, teaching building.

I ran wildly in the campus like crazy, seeing the signboard that can’t be loud, such as a piece of waste paper, no one, no one anywhere, the unspeakable stinging self heart burst out violently, like a sun on the verge of collapse, radiating, expanding, followed by a sharp contraction, cooling, talking about the destruction of the whole galaxy.

Did I do it wrong?Why only me?

No one responded, no one comforted me. I turned over 80 or 90 somersaults when my feet were empty. Every time my shoulder collided with the ground, my soul was a bit more detached. Finally, I fell quietly in the weeds and was covered with mud.

The dark red curtain was half drawn in front of my eyes. It was moist and moist, and the warm water wet my eyelashes. My hair stuck to my cheek, scratched to my mouth, licked, salty and fishy.In fact, the head doesn’t hurt, and it doesn’t hurt at all. Even the heart that has changed its shape has calmed down. Good boy, really good boy, I know that I shouldn’t continue to torture me. Let your dull master go first. If you want to settle accounts in autumn, I’ll wait until I’m ready.

The right arm is unconscious, and the side abdomen is leaking. I really shouldn’t have broken my clothes. I want to call the ghosts to mend it.I dragged my limping leg to the mirror. My fingertips were very cold, as if holding the ice that has not melted for a thousand years. The magic mirror looked at me with a smile but not a smile. Step by step, I oppressed my domineering to the corner, and I felt ashamed.

I stepped into the diasomnia squatter.

I don’t know when Jiao taro was born, what his name is, or even what grade he is.I’m just holding a little privilege of his almsgiving. I have no fear. Such a relationship is illusory. There are many gaps everywhere. I can’t see the edge at a glance. It’s just an accidental acquaintance that makes me seem to hold the life root.

Aimless search, open every door I see, there should be someone inside, maybe it will be startled, but I can’t see, as long as I can’t see all the things as if they didn’t happen.His lips were trembling, and the beaded sweat mixed with the red water dripping on the back of his hand. He occasionally glanced at the mirror, and the people inside were staring at me, staring at me, their eyes were turbid, like a desperate mad dog.

Usually people say that they are heartbroken, but when they think about it in detail, it’s just a false statement. As long as they have three meals, sleep in the daytime and sleep in the night, life is like white water, and the length of time is not mentioned, the dead feelings will recover slowly, such as the wilderness swept by the fire, the spring breeze and green buds.

But that’s not me.

If you can’t leave a trace, you can’t prove your existence.

No one should know, and no doubt disappear.

It’s not here.

It’s not here.

I can’t distinguish the direction, I can’t feel the movement, the indifferent existence in the air despises the weak human form, just like watching a funny play, sighing at her helplessness, mocking her foolishness, and feeling disappointed, just like a silk.

Catch the occasional low breath, forced to open the door around, a pen fell from the air on the table.

He was just here.

A very short look at me.

The deepest numbness and the deepest madness in my broken heart, the battle between heaven and man, breaking through the mountains, defeated my blood, my arrogance, everything I rely on in my life.

I lowered my hands, tiger mouth cracked, a hundred years dream exhaled the last breath of turbid air, the soul returned to the body, clever like a child.

I want someone to hug me, touch my head and tell me it’s a nightmare.

But I don’t feel the slightest warmth.

I walked slowly toward the position where Jiao taro had sat, kneeling on his knees, leaning on his forehead, full of endless nostalgia.

Then squeeze out a short sob.

As the saying goes, it’s not the need of life that makes trouble for the poor. The majority of working people are always very easy to meet. They can make do with their daily life. However, ideological problems can not be solved by a big seafood meal. The material foundation determines the superstructure, and the superstructure has to be fed back to the material foundation. There are only two kinds of people who sleep when they are fullOne is Leona, the other is pig.

The former has her own mother inside and Ruggie outside. She has no worries about food and clothing. She is the son of heaven’s choice. She stays in the tenth grade and does better than me. The latter enjoys VIP class 50 star service since she was born. She spends a few kilos of food and clothing, which is accurate to a fraction. She can only serve as the last dish on the new year’s table with a blood and meat watch.

My empty household register is not thousands of miles away, but it still treats me as the elder brother in the rebellious period of youth who needs family care. This fragile body can’t really be on the table of the state banquet. It can be called a hero in the waste. Naturally, the depth of my mind can’t reach the depth of sugrady. When rook recited sonnets, I blushed and could only recite one sentence"Sun!My mother!You are so hot today

Although this kind of cultural level is often criticized by people, and I can’t count the number of times crewel points his nose and scolds me wildly, the highlight of people’s life is participation. After all, people’s constitutions can’t be generalized, and I used to generalize people’s constitutions when I was extremely angry.

For the whole four hours, I cried heartbroken. My whole body was dry, wet and dry. My tears were like the Milky way, flying down 3000 feet. At the half-time, I drank the cup of Blue Mountain coffee on Jiao Taro’s table. It was not easy to drink. It made me show my teeth, but it really smelled delicious.

Four hours later, I finally realized the fact that God didn’t love me, a materialistic dog. I simulated ace hundreds of times in my mind. Suddenly, ACE rushed out of the window, ceiling, sofa bottom and chandelier, pointed to my nose and laughed. I’m an easy fool. April Fool’s Day super!Maybe deuce and grime will still hold up their cameras, like those heartless paparazzi reporters who have no bottom line, to take pictures of my ugly face all the way, ready to be kept as the final joke of the evening of the men’s rally.

But it’s just fiction.

I didn’t see anyone.

God imposed pain on the sufferer for no reason, more quickly than a storm.

My head is full of blood, a lot of blood loss and serious water shortage bring extreme dry mouth, the grass seed mud all over is not a cup of hand ground coffee can solve, the sky falls down, there will always be a tall man on top, I inhale hard, call up the weak legs, back to the infirmary.

Bandaging is a very technical work. Without the determination to entangle with gauze to the end of the world, it is impossible to control this runaway wild horse. I wasted three trash cans of raw materials. I could feel the medical teacher’s eyes piercing into my limbs and joints, and I could be torn apart in the next second.

My facial features have always been very loyal to me, but now they all betray the master who died before he finished his apprenticeship. Together, they dutifully simulate a perfect illusion, in which there are hidden murders, but the sacrifices in the eyes of the array are unknown.

After pulling the bandage of Volume 6, I simply gave up my intention to deal with the wound and dragged myself back to xiaolaoliao in a mess. There are very few things that remain unchanged in the world. The world’s major events are only one or two of ten. The desolate buildings stand in the open mountains and suburbs, as if they were taken out of time. They are standing alone in the forgotten corner of the world. It’s so desolate that I feel sadBut suddenly aware of the half minute tiny peace of mind.

Ace is right. I’m a complete idiot. It only took me one night to come back to life. Since the beginning of school, I slept until 12 noon for the first time. I nearly rolled out of bed.At noon, I bravely kicked open the door of yasasi’s office and threw a leave notice which was no doubt related to the strike notice on his chair. If yasasi stayed behind his Tung wood embossed desk, it would be a good time to ask for leaveThe destination should be someone else’s dog like face.

On the first day, I painted all the roses in heartslabyul green.

The next day, I filled Leona’s mattress with farts.

On the third day, I went to the canteen and found two big white steamed buns from the small cupboard that the chef always used to hide private dishes. I stuffed them into my chest. Then I put on a full set of black silk rabbit suit and went to mostroLounge main hall played radio Gymnastics from the first set to the eighth set. On the way, I ate one steamed bread because I was too hungry. It’s not easy to master the balance and prevent the other steamed bread from flying out.

On the fourth day, I stopped all my crazy and unreasonable actions and blew the northwest wind all day at the top of the tower of the teaching building.

It’s boring.

quiet.

Silence.

I don’t know when I was born or when I will die, but I think it’s only in my twenties. It’s true that I shouldn’t feel that everything is as boring as a cup of boiling water. This kind of life philosophy is Lilia’s specialty and has nothing to do with me, but they don’t intend to let me go, shadow, crisis and instability.

Although my consciousness is still complete, I feel that I am in a boundless nightmare. I can’t get to the real place all over. I’m swimming. My already empty brain is growing inward, and my cold hair is involved in the flesh and bone marrow. The stinging cuts and scratches disappear. In a trance, I look down at my wrist, and the purulent gap is flowing with dirty water.

The heart of fear is dead and numb. It slowly falls from my chest to the place called Dantian. The alarm bell of the sixth sense is loud, desperately pulling a cold stone to linger. I murmur and open my mouth, as if I have a thousand words to say. The rusty brain machine is hard to operate, barely remembering that now there is no audience in front of me, and the memory of the night crow academy is far away from me, which is more important than the Wanderers who have left their hometownNo.

In the strong wind, my feet stepped on the guardrail and looked down. The plants in the flower bed were only the size of ants. If I jumped down and fell into a pool of rotten applesauce in a flash, it might be troublesome to clean it.

Only gods and beasts can enjoy solitude. The body can’t help suffering and self destruction.

At the critical moment, what stopped me was a face floating in the air.

"Gui an!"Said the Cheshire cat to me with a smile.

I took a deep breath, as if I woke up from a dream. There was a cracking sound in my frozen blood vessels. The iron horse glacier melted into a flood in the spring breeze. My selfless and cool personality was kicked out of the sky. In a hurry, I fell back in a big shape and hit my head on the hard high-grade diamond tower. I thought I would cry out, just like checking my grades after a quizAt the same time, I learned that I had to make up lessons with Mr. tree during the whole vacation.

There are no emotional ups and downs, the hot blood cools down a little bit, and the pain that runs through the flank of the lower abdomen comes again. There are so many reminiscences echoing in my open heart, which is the hesitation when I clean up the room at every stage of my life and see the sundries that I want to throw but can’t bear to throw away.

"Gui an."I’m calmer than I thought.

Ten minutes later, we were sitting on the roof of the little hut, each with a can of tuna that was so expensive that I wanted to sell blood. Let’s say it was a celebration of the survival of my life.

"So, it’s actually a blessing from Laolao, meow."

I can’t laugh: "blessing?"

Cheshire cat happily took a piece of tuna from my hand: "because corresponding to the curse, the spell that can’t be lifted by the magicians is blessing."

"Every ten years as a cycle, randomly choose a student who lives in a dilapidated hut, so that they can’t see the people they regard as their lives. The minimum time limit in the existing record is 32 hours. You are lucky to break the record."

If the name of this record is the number of small cakes Trey made most at non birthday parties, maybe I would be much happier than I am now. Cheshire cat squeezes a snoring smile from its throat, no more lazy than any light cat.

"I don’t want to come either, but Trey said that riddle was about to cry. I didn’t want to see him cry."

Although this is a bit rebellious, it’s still very pleasant to watch the beautiful boy cry. My abnormal XP system started up first and started up together with the common sense of human relations. The Cheshire cat jumped up and cried to the air: "I’m not lying, meow!That’s what Trey said! "

I got a boost: "who’s there?"

Cheshire cat broke his fingers. He counted round. He was as mysterious as if he had found some amazing treasure, but he didn’t tell me. When the topic turned, he said something amazing: "supervisor, how about leaving night crow college?So your life is normal, meow

Almost subconsciously, I responded, "no way."

"Why?"

Why?

The answer is ready to come out, like a blue bluebird that stops at my mouth. I take off all its feathers and put it into the flashy cage without thinking about how to return it to freedom.

Do you need words?

For a long time, the reality that I didn’t want to look directly at was suddenly cut open, and all the disguises were bloody in front of me. The rotten core smelled rotten. It was all my selfish desires and evil thoughts, and the unknown despicable and ugly.

I couldn’t have left nightcrow college.

They are my first destination in the nightcrow college, and they are the existence that I am worth exchanging with everything. They are also a boat that pretends to be crazy and stupid to stay in the storm.

Even though I have to do some homework every day, I have to admit that asasi is the cornerstone of the existence of supervisor.

If the headmaster didn’t promise me to stay, the supervisor would not exist.

I don’t exist anymore.

Cheshire cat’s deep eyes looked directly at my head. I couldn’t lift my head. My neck bent down. His eyes seemed to weigh a thousand pounds.

"Well, if the supervisor doesn’t want to leave here, why don’t he ask for help?"

"Why don’t you ever have the slightest idea of asking them for help?"

My answer seemed to be stammering.

"May I ask for help?"

Do I deserve to ask them for help?

The conversation ended in nothing.

In a sense, I really have the talent to kill chatting. In this respect, Idia and I are from the same school. The difference is that his ending is usually that others try to suppress the idea of giving him a punch, while I make all the eloquent speakers have nothing to say.

"Blessing" lasted for seven days.

For the remaining three days, Cheshire cat refused to appear in front of me. It seemed that he was choked by me and his hair was fried as if he had seen an insect. That pair of smart ears would always appear in the periphery of my sight. When I looked carefully, I saw a lot of cat hair. It must be that he was short of sleep and had serious hair loss. When VIL saw it, he would have a sermon.

On the seventh night, I was half asleep and half awake. I vaguely heard the snoring of grime one after another. With the slightly warm wind blowing in my ears, the window lock of the small dilapidated hut is always half working and half ineffective. I can’t understand the law of its strike. It’s just that this place is too shabby. Against the backdrop of the magnificent building next to the teaching building, no small thief will steal from this ruins.

A cool hand stroked my forehead, drowsily fell on my eyelids, struggling to lift a gap, it was Jiao taro.

He came in the moonlight, like a holy and solemn spirit in the grand legend. His grandmother’s green eyes were breathtaking. There was no word in my poor dictionary to describe his sacrilege.

"Ask, son of man," Jiao Taro’s voice sighed, "anything is OK, only for tonight."

I believe that this is a beautiful dream, and the dream will forgive all the impoliteness of human beings. I don’t want to admit that all the impoliteness has been wasted in seven days, but the most unspeakable feelings are still hard to support.

But when he appeared, I knew I had no room to escape.

The tip of the tongue to the upper jaw, that sentence did not go through the brain’s command, so on to slide out.

"Jiao taro, tell me your name."

I turned my head and looked at him with hazy eyes, almost gentle.

Finally, open your lips.

He gave me a deep, deep look, as if making the final confirmation.

“Malleus。”

“Malleus Draconia。”

I reached out from the sheet and grasped Jiao Taro’s wrist. It was really a dream, because he didn’t dodge.

"Jiao taro, I’ll tell you something, too."

I should have been surprised, I should have been surprised, I should have jumped out of my bed as usual, shouting and waking up everyone I could find, but I didn’t make any of the above reactions.

Just pulling his hand through the thin clothes and pressing it on my slightly raised chest, my consciousness fell into silence, and suddenly I didn’t have any strength.

"I’m a girl."

At the end of the unrestrained hand over all the cards, and then continue to sleep.

Don’t make me dream again.

前段时间我因为重感冒在Crewel的课上睡觉，导致课后作业平白无故多了一倍，不仅如此，罪魁祸首Grim居然还以我奔波在追求学识的道路上，耽误了它填饱肚子为由，硬生生从我手里抠走了远远超过原定计划的伙食费，去抢magicame上最近特别流行的豪华金枪鱼罐头组，为了苟活到下一轮经费到账，我吃了整整半个月的咸菜馒头，低头就能嗅到从身上飘来的辣椒酱油味儿。

每每我在深夜被饿醒只能狂喝凉水的时候都在心里诅咒这破猫怎么还没撑死，那罐头去了包装都有他两个脑袋大小，收拾干净就能给他当金属睡床，Grim还非要一天开一罐，奢侈得一度叫我怀疑学院人均月收入已经达到了五位数的小康水平，而当我满怀期待打开存款APP，期望亚萨西良心发现，把他克扣我的经费一次性发下来让孩子改善改善伙食，鲜红的赤字都让我恨不得自戳双目，再接两个巴掌，打醒我这怀着愚昧无知旧社会残余的脑袋。

半个月后我奋然反抗，痛不欲生地跑到Scarabia寮蹭饭加餐，顶着Jamil厉如刀锋的视线扫荡了Kalim三分之二的晚饭便当，活像是在外受了委屈净身出户回娘家的小媳妇儿，边吃边哭着痛斥Grim是个没良心的傻逼，我与他多年的同居情分在他眼中居然不过是逢场作戏，区区不必要的生理需求就能让他背叛高尚的无产阶级革命组织，投身资本主义的怀抱，在战争年代必然是大奸大恶之辈，留着过年都嫌斤两不够赶不上杀猪划算。

Kalim是我见过的最好最好的人，他不仅慷慨的让出了便当，还邀请我今晚去Scarabia寮参加Jamil的私人补习，当事人在我俩背后咳嗽得惊天动地，震醒了树上睡觉的猫，但鉴于我的学习成绩常年稳定在个位数的水准，再不挽救一波只怕明年Deuce都能爬在我头上作威作福，故而我假装自己是个闭目塞听的小聋瞎，把Azul不听人话的本领学了个一等一的神领意得，还亲切的询问Jamil需不需要去医务室，最近气温变化大，要注意身体。

副寮长的白眼简直要翻到天上去。

事实证明师我高估了我的学习素养，尽管Jamil为了我俩能集中注意力做了万全的准备，从凉皮点心到冰镇饮料，吃的喝的一应俱全，花里胡哨堆了满桌子，他手艺是真的不错，可惜课本功力更强，没翻几页我就已然化身酒醉的蝴蝶，迷失在大好的花花梦境之中，眼前全是各色各样活蹦乱跳的曼德拉草，正举着摄像头对我一路狂拍，Grim坐在黄金制成的王座上左拥右抱，一群不知羞耻的小妖精围在它身边争奇斗艳，我倒吸一口凉气，心道好你个Grim，老娘在外面卖身卖血供你吃吃喝喝，你居然在家里陪着漂亮小姐姐白日宣淫。

我刚想上去谴责这种有辱市容的不正之风，从一堆红粉骷髅里救Grim于水火之中，猫是无辜的，你们有什么招数尽管冲着我来，我身体好，撑得住！未想凑近了一看，好家伙，哪儿是什么漂亮小姐姐啊，不就是一群穿着花衣裳的金枪鱼吗！

半梦半醒之间我听到Jamil数落Kalim的声音，他的尊尊教诲像极了一位独自撑起单亲家庭的英雄母亲，用词亲切啰嗦得叫我忍不住抱头倒地大喊”师父别念了！”，kamil显然已经习以为常，还在笑嘻嘻地咀嚼小点心，嘴巴忙得停不下来，含含糊糊的说：“Jamil你好像我妈妈哦。”

副寮长深吸一口气，我从他这般暴风雨前的宁静里感受到了鸡毛掸子正在上弦的前兆，目标直指Kalim无辜的屁股，眼看着家庭矛盾一触即发，我义薄云天地扔下一堆前凸后翘的美鱼人，为报一饭之恩，视处理Scarabia寮的内部纠纷为己任，不禁拍案而起，掀了Jamil刚刚给我盖上的双色毯子：“男妈妈怎么了怎么了！胸大腿长屁股翘的黑皮男妈妈不好吗不香吗不涩吗！就要男妈妈就要男妈妈就要男妈妈！”

时值晚上10点整，会客室外人来人往，我这番语出惊人压根没顾及音量，故而声音大得震响半边天，短暂的三秒钟内仿佛在场所有人都中了定身魔咒，就连沙漠夜晚呼啸的风也悄然匿去声息，Jamil缓缓转过头，看向我的视线如同盯着猎物的鹰，他对驻足在门口一动也不敢动的寮生们报以亲切的微笑，那笑容真的好看极了，如幽暗森林里妖精们呢喃的低语，放在平时，以我那三观跟着五官跑的性子，即便顶着天大的压力也要舔着脸迎上去一饱眼福，但此刻我只想和那些寮生们一样撒腿就跑，真男人从不回头看爆炸，莫大的原因可能就是他们绝对不想展现出自己背后被火苗燎得只剩半截的衣服。

四下无人，月黑风高，杀人放火夜，灭尸好时节。

Jamil合上课本，以一个高贵的姿势翘起二郎腿，眯起眼睛却不带分毫笑意，满脸写着明晃晃的你看我面容祥和根本就没在生气的样子：“你刚才说什么？”

我相信那一刻他对我的攻击欲望已经达到了顶峰，膀胱险些陪着表情管理一起失控，当下最明智的选择应该是缩在Kalim身后瑟瑟发抖，俗话说的有色心没色胆大抵就是我现在的样子，可是涩批人，涩批魂，涩批才有好前程，连自己的XP系统都不敢展现出来，还敢自称是老涩批？监督生，你得支棱起来啊！

此刻水之智慧女神的光辉定然笼罩着她最虔诚的信徒，先勾引一手，再等一个时机，回首，掏，方才能打对方一个出其不意，只要我跑得够快，死亡就追不上我，而在逃跑这方面，我是不出世的天才。

因此我脖子一梗，心一横，中气不足地振臂高呼：“男，男妈妈万岁？”

无数敬畏中带着缅怀的目光自会客室的出口齐齐投射向我，显然已经提前为我预定好了死期，而Kalim那个凑热闹从不过脑子的小笨蛋正学着我的样子举起双手一起高呼，丝毫没能体会到我这虽九死其尤未悔的悲壮之情，但一切都已经不重要了，我根本不需要什么落脚之处，一个监督生倒下了，千千万万个监督生站起来了！只需不断前进，老涩批的道路就会不断延伸，就算Jamil已经揪上了我的耳朵，但是人类对于男妈妈的追求绝不会驻足不前！只要老涩批们不停下来，路的前方就一定有我，所以，不要停下来啊！

我不知道这震撼心灵的咆哮有没有传达到群众的意念之中，但耳朵是真的疼，Jamil手法娴熟，先用点心堵住Kalim的嘴，再把我的脑袋抵在课本上，还威胁我如果今晚不学完规定的任务就别想睡觉。

这威胁着实可怖，我素来将睡眠视为生命中必不可少的要素之一，三餐可以不济，四体可以不勤，一天八小时以上的酣睡时光却是必须得保证的，不能睡足八小时的日子和处刑有什么区别？如此高危下我不得不当个能屈能伸的好汉，暂且终止了我在升级XP系统上的不懈追求。

可危机远没有结束。

我的精神陡然一震，方才察觉风声的凝滞绝不是一个单纯的形容词句，周遭冷空的空气活像无数多足长虫，顺着裤腿爬上我的脊背，显露出狰狞的嘴脸。

Jamil的反应比我更快，他迅速在我和Kalim周身布下层层防御魔法，但这丝毫不能缓解我的恐慌之情。

它就在我身边，如蛇吐红信，粗糙的鳞片厮磨着我的后颈，紧贴在最柔软也是神经最为纷杂的那处，骤如雷霆，烙下深邃的烙印。

我当场昏死过去。

翌日我从自己床上醒来，天色尚早，恐怕是我入学期内最早的一次，半截咸鸭蛋似的太阳沉沉坠在地平线的边际，和我半死不活的样子如出一辙。

我捞起还在熟睡的Grim，刷牙洗脸冲去食堂，清晨时分有低价处理的剩菜剩饭，总比啃馒头要舒坦。

不知是不是我起得实在太早的缘故，往常那些仿佛从前半夜就开始排队的同行们今天仅仅是零星分散各个角落，从食堂到教室，素来热闹的学院内清净得吓人，若不是Ace照例踩着上课铃一个滑铲飘到我的座位旁边，我甚至要怀疑是不是亚萨西那个屑笔又没给我送假期通知。

既然兄弟来了，一切都好说了，我把课本林林总总排在面前，堆成小山一般高，吃饱喝足的后遗症来势汹汹，约莫是我起得实在太早了，来自眼皮的压力不断催促着我陷入沉眠，我推推Ace的肩膀，叫他帮我看着点老师点名，头一歪，睡得不省人事。

如果我提早知道后来会发生什么，这一觉必然不会睡得如此安稳。

我是被Ace摇醒的。

教室内空无一人，除了我的三个好兄弟们，他们围成标准的三角阵营，以考究的科学态度讶然看着我，Grim甚至伸出爪子摸了摸我的额头：“没发烧啊？”

我不明所以，只是天真地问他们：“要吃午饭了吗？为什么教室里一个人都没有？”

他们齐齐倒吸一口凉气。

Ace掰着我的肩膀，把我强行转向走道的空白位置，他的声音在发抖，是当我们第一见面却差点退学时才稍稍显露出的恐惧：“监督生，你看不到Crewel老师吗？”

走道上明明什么人都没有，Ace，这个玩笑一点都不好笑。

倏地，我突然明白了Ace的意思，刹那间我手脚冰凉，能够冻住舌根的寒气渗入骨子里，控制不住的生理颤抖震得关节咔咔作响。

校园内的冷清并不是学生们的问题，而是我的问题。

我看不到他们了。

仔细算来，这是我第一次在清醒的状态下，依照个人意志进入学校的医护室，往常大多是Deuce送我来的，因为导致我晕倒的始作俑者Grim搬不动我，而它又不能把我这个人形粮票随随便便找块地扔了不管。

此猫认识的人中比较有闲又不怎么怕麻烦的只有Deuce，找到Deuce就代表同时能找到Ace，这两人是校园里最出名的连体DK之一，吃饭睡觉打豆豆，就连回家都恨不得跑同一趟镜间，能比他们更穿一条裤子的只有Kalim和Jamil，但Jamil有一百种方法躲开Grim以及它带来的麻烦事，因此监督生救助委员会的稳定员工只有Ace和Deuce两个倒霉蛋。 

他们搬我的分工也很明确，Ace出头Deuce出力，一个善后一个背人，长此以往，但凡Grim单独去见他们，Ace一定会第一时间问：“这回监督生真死了不？”

然后听着我还健在的消息遗憾地咂舌，因为说服闻讯而来的老师们很麻烦。

虽然Ace咒我死的态度实在是恶毒，但是他替我写2000字检讨的样子真的很靓仔，身为他慈爱的父亲我向来是对乖儿子们的叛逆之处持宽容意见，毕竟我也不想写检讨，装死总比动笔简单。

从小到大数百次体检当中，这回必然是我经历的最摸不着头脑的一次。我看不到凶神恶煞仿佛我欠了他好几百万魔币的医护老师，也见不到那些向来被他磨得寒光深深，尖头随时都能戳穿我喉咙的器具，Ace让我抬头我就抬头，Ace让我张嘴我就张嘴，Ace让我脱衣服，我一脸娇羞的对他说非礼勿视，结果他破口大骂叫你脱个外套而已又不是脱裤子。

这人不行，一点都沉不住气，上回打牌他裤子又不是我扒的，Deuce的锅你对Deuce说嘛，吼人家吼得那么大声做什么？更何况又没真的扒了他的裤子。

一通默剧般的表演结束后我坐在病床上晃腿，Grim难得安静一会儿，甚至主动嘘寒问暖，一会儿问我室内温度怎么样，冷不冷热不热，一会儿问我有没有口渴，杯子杵到我鼻尖，我受宠若惊，心想这家伙难得做了个人，关键时刻还是挺靠得住的，谁知道下一句它就叫我交出支付APP的密码，免得我人间蒸发之后自己吃不上新鲜的金枪鱼罐头，死道友不死贫道，还叫我放心的去吧，遗产它来处理。

夫妻本是同林鸟，大难临头各自飞，都在一张床上睡了大半年了我居然还对Grim这只屑猫有所期待，不知道是该说我天真还是该说我愚蠢。

那杯水我一口没喝，完整的泼了出去，大半洒在了Grim的尾巴上，烫得狸猫嗷嗷直叫。

从走廊外传来了连绵的脚步声，最先闯进来的是Kalim，这位天使自看到我的第一眼开始痛哭流涕，哭得比我更像一个存在感岌岌可危的病患，Jamil紧随其后，制止了他在我认知障碍病发完全之前把我先行勒死的行为，我扑在床上疯狂咳嗽，差点咳出两片内脏，Kalim下手是真的重，短短几秒钟的时间，我却差点以为自己要窒息了。

“监督生！”Scarabia寮的寮长眼泪汪汪，“你会死吗？”

不是，是我上辈子欠你们还是怎么的，不过是蹭了顿饭而已，咋见了面就叫人家去死啊？

我摆摆手，示意自己没事，世界上最强的物种就是尚在就读的日本高中生，我虽不在高中，但好歹也是个盘正条顺风华正茂的妙龄JK，想来黑恶势力一般也盯不到我身上，于是大度无比，狗仗人势：“哪儿能啊，小事情，问题不大。”

Kalim是真的好哄，话音刚落便松了口气，笑得像上天派来的天使，Jamil臭着脸，显然对我昨夜的口出狂言颇为不满，但碍于现在我四舍五入算个无药可以医治的绝症患者，故而对我保留了为人最低的怜悯。

“怎么回事？”Jamil问。

“视觉神经没有问题，也没有被魔法干扰的痕迹，原因不明。”Ace回答道。

“如果是魔法，我不可能发现不了。”这句话臭屁到不行，可是Jamil的确有臭屁的资本，就算他当时已经召唤了自己的拳头为攻击表示，在对我直接攻击之前也一定会忍辱负重，从前来暗杀Kalim的刺客手中顺带捞我一条小命。

在场的大多都不是喜静的人，张嘴就能吵得五佛生天六魂出窍，却少见的冷了场，几分钟无人说话，脸色都算不上好看。

我额头沁汗，被这严肃的气氛憋到胃酸胃胀，只觉得千万只虫足在肚子里翻江倒海，连带着浑身都不对劲起来，明明一点都不热的。

没人开口，我更不敢开口，我是沉默的源头，是被无形双手捂住双眼的鬼娃娃，孩子们在我背后跳跃，踢踏，待我喊停，取一个无辜人的性命留作自用，继续下一场游戏。

不多时，Cater前辈出现在门口，面无表情。

“出来吧，院长找你们有事，”他旋即对我眨了眨眼，仿佛先前我捕捉到的肃穆不过是片刻的假象，表情生动得比我更像个真正的JK，“监督生，需要趁现在合个影吗？”

Cater的修图水平比我好上太多，平时我想求他帮我修两张能看的照片都得跟着他当大半天的工具人，此刻他主动上门，我高兴得要命，伸手就想抓Deuce过来当背景板。

可我抓了个空。

“Deuce？”

我的笑容凝固在脸上。

Deuce不在。

方才提出要和我拍照的Cater，抱着我真情实意大哭的Kalim，随时都能把我揍趴下的Jamil，骂我扒了他裤子的Ace。

还有Grim。

谁都不在。

只是稍稍眨了眨眼。

我的世界从未如此安静过，仿佛深夜里的破旧寮，冷清的月光下一栋摇摇欲坠的建筑，偶然梦醒时分，连角太郎都不在的日子，我一个人披着单衣站在院内，气息浅薄得不透活气，与这偌大的废墟化为一体，生灵不近，死灵不及，苍白得似刚刚踏出幽冥鬼府，下一秒便会倒地不起，身绝而亡。

孤独可以杀死一个人。

灰白的影子没过我的脚踝，我的膝盖，我的大腿，青天白日，我的视线却一点点，一点点暗了下来，那些自我从棺材里醒过来便如影随形的阴霾正趁着片刻的空荡不断发酵，团团簇簇，拼命汲取着我赖以生存的空气。

我以为我早就把他们抛下了，半年来痴痴傻傻，不去想，不去恼，当一只快乐的井底之蛙，其实不然。

它们就在我身边，在井沿的外围优雅地斯磨利爪，顺着一点缝隙涌进井内，扣住我的手腕，束住我的小腿，顺着弯腰时突出的脊椎骨，将我分割成26块带血的猪肉排。

自断后路，无处可逃，怨不得谁。

我俯下身，蜷起四肢，牙关颤抖，磕绊出不规律的响，虽说我向来倾佩自己，进化出了智力却将其束之高阁，待期末救急方才拿出来用用，潇洒得不行，可不是不要紧的，完全不是，怎么会没有问题，我是骗子，大骗子，我明明怕得快要哭出来。

细微暗哑的呻吟钻出声道，我哽咽得厉害，被苦水浇灌而生的肿瘤死死卡在喉咙，手心尽是汗水，滑腻冰冷，连带着攥紧的衣角都皱巴巴的。

我机械的起身，扶着床板走了两步，刚松开手就双脚一软，好似骨折一样跌了个狗吃屎，难以言喻的绝望塞满了我的心脏，我不敢大口呼吸，稍微用一点力，整个世界就会崩塌成失败的奶油蛋糕。

消毒水刺鼻的味道渐渐充斥鼻腔，提醒着我尚在人世。 

我咬牙，爬起来一路狂奔。

走道，石子路，教学楼。

我发疯了似的在校园里狂奔，视不可大声喧哗的招牌如废纸一张，没有人，哪儿都没有人，无法形容的刺痛自我的心口猛烈爆发开来，好像一颗濒临崩溃的太阳，放射，膨胀，紧接着急剧的收缩，降温，讲一整个星系毁灭殆尽。

是我做错了吗？为何只留下我？

无人回应，无人安抚，脚下一空，我翻了八九十个跟头，肩膀每一次与地面的撞击都让我的魂魄更离体几分，最终悄无声息的滚落在杂草丛里，沾染一身淤泥。

暗红的帷幕半拉在我眼前，湿湿润润的，有温热的水流打湿了眼睫，发丝黏贴在脸颊，划至嘴边，舔一舔，又咸又腥。其实头不疼的，一点都不疼的，连那颗变了形的心都平静了下来，好孩子，真是好孩子，知道不该继续折磨我了，且先放过你愚钝不堪的主人一马，要想秋后算账，也等我做好准备再说。

右手手臂毫无知觉，侧腹呼呼漏风，真是不该，摔烂了衣服，回去要叫幽灵们好补。我拖着一瘸一拐的腿，往镜间走，指尖极冷，仿佛握着千年不化的寒冰，魔镜与我对视，似笑非笑，一步步将我的飞扬跋扈压迫到角落，无地自容。

我踏进了Diasomnia寮舍。

角太郎生于何年，姓甚名谁，甚至他到底是几年级的学生，我一概不知。我不过是持着他施舍的一点特权有恃无恐，如此关系虚无缥缈，鸿沟遍地，一眼望不到边，仅仅是偶然的相识，却叫我仿佛握住了命根。

漫无目的的找，打开每一扇我见到的门扉，里面应该是有人的，兴许会吓一跳，但我看不见，只要我看不见的事情就全部当作没发生过好了。嘴唇哆嗦，豆大的汗珠混着红色的水流滴在手背，偶然扫了眼镜子，里面的人直勾勾的盯着我，目不转睛，眼珠浑浊，没有神，像条走投无路的疯狗。

通常人们说自己心碎魂散，实际细想起来，不过都是虚妄之言，只要三餐有继，昼出夜寐，视生活如白水，时间长短暂且不提，僵死的感情总会慢慢复苏，如被掠火涤荡的荒野，春风拂过，绿芽丛生。

但那不是我。

留不下痕迹，便证明不了自己的存在。

无人应知，与消失无疑。

不在这儿。

也不在这儿。

分不清方向，感觉不到运动，半空中那个冷漠的存在蔑视着软弱人形的我，一如看一场滑稽的戏，对着她的无措叹息，对着她的痴傻嘲弄，怅然也有，丝屡而已。

捕捉到偶然传来低低的呼吸，用力撞开身边的那扇门，一支笔从空中落在桌上。

他方才还在这里。

极短的看了我一眼。

最深的麻木和最深的疯狂在我残破不堪的心中天人交战，冲破崇山峻岭，击溃了我的血性，我的骄纵，我生命中依仗的一切。

我低垂下双手，虎口崩裂，百年大梦呼出最后一口浊气，魂归于体，乖巧的像个孩子。

我希望有人能拥抱我，抚摸我的头顶，告诉我这是一场噩梦。

可我感觉不到丝毫的温暖。

我慢慢向着角太郎曾坐过的位置走去，跪于他的膝旁，额头轻倚，饱含无尽的留恋。

而后挤出短促的啜泣。

俗话说得好，穷山恶水出刁民，通常大家刁的都不是生活需求，广大劳动人民总是非常容易满足的，拧巴拧巴，日子照样能凑合着过，但思想上的问题绝非一顿海鲜大餐就能解决，物质基础决定上层建筑，上层建筑还得反馈于物质基础，成天吃饱了就睡的只有两种生物，一种是Leona，一种是猪。

前者内有亲妈，外有Ruggie，衣食无忧，天选之子，再留十年级混得都比我好，而后者从出生起享受的就是贵宾级五十星服务，吃穿用度几斤几两精确到分厘，大恩大德无以为报，只能以一身血肉表定终身，做过年餐桌上的压轴大菜。

我空如白纸的户口本上没有远在千里之外却依旧拿我当处于青春叛逆期需要家庭关爱的皇兄，这副弱不禁风的小身板也实在上不了国宴家席的台面，堪称废物中的豪杰，思想深度自然达不到苏格拉底的深度，Rook学长口述十四行诗的时间，我憋红了脸也只能吟诵一句：”太阳！我的母亲！今天你是真他娘的热啊！”

此等文化水平虽常被人诟病，被Crewel点着鼻子狂骂的次数再给我加三头六臂也数不完，但人活着，突出的就是一个重在参与，毕竟人与人的体质不能一概而论，而我曾在极度愤怒的情况下把人与人的体质一概而论。

整整四个小时，我自顾自哭得肝肠寸断，浑身上下干了湿，湿了干，泪如九天银河，飞流直下三千尺，中场休息是把角太郎桌上那杯没怎么动过的蓝山咖啡一饮而尽，不好喝，苦得我龇牙咧嘴，但闻起来确实是一顶一的香。

四个小时后我终于认清了事实，明白了上帝并不爱我这个唯利是图的唯物主义走狗，我在脑海中模拟了上百次Ace突然从窗口，天花板，沙发底，吊灯暗格冲出来，指着我的鼻子大笑我是个容易上当的傻逼，愚人节SUPERISE！也许Deuce和Grim还会举着相机，像那些毫无良心和底线的狗仔记者，对我梨花带雨的丑脸一路狂拍，准备留作男子集会晚上的压轴笑料。

但这只是虚构。

我没有看到任何人。

上帝将痛苦强加给受难者，从不需要任何理由，比一场暴风来的更加迅猛。

我的脑袋血流成河，大量失血和严重缺水带来极度的口干舌燥，浑身的草籽泥浆也绝非一杯手磨咖啡能够解决，天塌下来总会有高个子的顶着，我用力吸了吸鼻子，使唤起无力的双腿，重新回到了医务室。

缠绷带是一件颇需要技术力的工作，没点跟纱布缠缠绵绵到天涯的决心必不可能驾驭这匹脱了缰的野马，我浪费了三个垃圾桶的原材料，简直能感觉到医护老师的目光直直刺进我的四肢关节，下一秒就能将我大卸八块。

我的五官素来对我忠诚无比，但现在它们齐齐背叛了这出师未捷身先死的主人，共同尽职尽责的模拟出了一片完美的幻象，其间杀机暗藏，阵眼处的祭品却一无所知。

扯空第六卷绷带后我干脆的放弃了自己处理伤口的意图，拖着一身狼藉回到小破寮，世间恒古不变的东西少之又少，天下大事不过十之一二，苍凉的建筑兀自矗立在空旷的荒野山郊，仿佛被摘出了时间之外，单独坐落在被世界遗忘的角落，明明冷清得令人伤心，我却骤然察觉到了半分微小的心安。

Ace骂得没错，我的确是个彻头彻尾的傻逼，从到满血复活只需一夜之久，开学以来我第一次睡到了中午十二点，睡得骨头酥软，差点从床上翻滚下去。日黑风高，四下无人，没有了生活所迫这一遮羞布，原本小指甲盖那么大的胆子倏地掀了桌子，正午时分，我斗胆踹开亚萨西的办公室大门，将一纸与罢工布告无疑的请假通知单摔在他的椅子上，如果此时亚萨西好端端的呆在他那张桐木浮雕办公台后面，请假单的目的地就应该是他人模狗样的脸。

第一天，我将Heartslabyul寮全部的玫瑰都涂成了绿色。

第二天，我在Leona的床垫底下塞满了屁垫。

第三天，我奔赴食堂，从主厨一贯用来藏私房菜的小橱柜里摸出来两个又白又大的馒头，往胸口一塞，接着穿上全套黑丝兔女郎套装，在Mostro Lounge主厅把广播体操从第一套打到第八套，途中因为太饿，馒头被我啃了一个，想要掌握平衡不让另外一个馒头飞出去还挺不容易的。

第四天我停止了一切疯狂而不合常理的行动，在教学楼的高塔顶吹了整天的西北风。

无趣。

沉静。

寂灭。

我不知自己生逢何年，也不知会死在何时，可想来也不过二十小几，属实不应该觉得万事万物都乏味得像一杯千滚水，此等人生哲理是Lilia的专长，与我毫无干系，可它们不打算放过我，阴影，危机，不安定。

明明知觉尚全，我却觉得自己身处无边梦魇，浑身轻飘飘的落不到实处，步伐游弋，已然空无一物的大脑正在向内生长，连带浑身的寒毛齐齐卷入血肉骨髓，隐隐刺痛的割伤划痕销声匿迹，恍惚间我低头看向手腕，化脓的缺口流着污浊的水。

恐惧之心僵死麻木，自胸口缓缓坠落到名为丹田的位置，第六感的警铃大作，拼命扯着一颗冰冷的石头苟延残喘，我喃喃张口，似有千般话语要说，锈蚀的大脑机器艰难运作，勉强回忆起现在无听众在眼前，夜鸦学院里的记忆正在离我远去，比背井离乡的游子更加决绝。

狂风之中，我的双脚踩上护栏，向下看去，花坛草木不过蝼蚁大小，若是一跃而下，瞬息之间摔成一滩烂透了的苹果酱，清扫起来可能会挺麻烦。

只有神仙和野兽才会享受孤独，肉体凡胎禁不住漫长的折磨，与自毁无疑。

千钧一发之际，拦住我的是一张漂浮在空中的人脸。

“贵安！”柴郡猫微笑着对我说。

我深吸一口气，仿佛大梦初醒，已然冰封的血管里发出咔咔的龟裂声，铁马冰河于春风中消融成川流洪荒，先前铁面无私酷炫狂霸的人格被一脚踹至九霄云外，仓皇之下我以大字型向后倒去，后脑撞在坚硬的高档金刚石塔面上，我以为我会叫出声，像小考后查成绩的同时得知自己整个假期都要跟着Trein老师补课的Grim。

没有情绪的起伏，滚烫的热血一点点冷却，小腹侧翼再次传来被贯穿的疼痛，有那么丝屡的留念回荡在我空旷的心房，是每过一个人生阶段清理房间，看到那些想扔却舍不得扔掉的杂物时的踟蹰。

“贵安。”我比我自己想象的更冷静。

十分钟后我们坐在小破寮的屋顶上，人手一罐贵得我想卖血的金枪鱼罐头，姑且算是对我劫后余生的庆祝。

“所以说，这其实是来自破旧寮的祝福啊喵。”

我笑不出来：“祝福？”

柴郡猫愉悦地从我手中挑走一块金枪鱼肉：“因为与诅咒相对应，无法被魔法师们解除的咒语，就是祝福。”

“每十年为一周期，随机选择生活在破旧寮中的某位在校学员，使其看不到自己视同生命的人们，已有的记录里最低期限为三十二小时，你运气不错，刷新了记录呢。”

如果这记录的名称是在非生日宴会上吃掉最多Trey做的小蛋糕数量，兴许我会比现在高兴许多，柴郡猫从喉咙里挤出呼噜呼噜的笑，不比任何一只轻巧的猫咪更加慵懒。

“我也不想来啊，可是Trey说Riddle一副快要哭出来的样子，我不想看Riddle哭喵。”

虽然这话未免有些大逆不道，但看美少年哭还是非常赏心悦目的，我变态的XP系统抢先启动，带着人伦常理一起开机，柴郡猫倏地咿咿呀呀跳了起来，对着空气呐喊：“我才没有说谎喵！Trey就是这么说的嘛！”

我精神一振：“谁在那里？”

柴郡猫掰着手指头，他左左右右数了一轮，神神秘秘得像是发现了什么惊天秘宝，却不告诉我，话题一转，却是语出惊人：“监督生，离开夜鸦学院怎么样？这样你的生活就正常了喵。”

几乎是下意识的，我回应道：“不可能。”

“为什么？”

为什么。

答案呼之欲出，像一只停驻在我嘴边的蓝色青鸟，我摘下它全部的羽毛，塞进浮华的鸟笼中，不去思考如何归它自由。

需要言语吗？

长久以来我最不愿直视的现实就这么突如其来的被剖开全部的伪装，血淋淋的摆在我的面前，已然腐朽的内核散发着糜烂的恶臭，那是我全部的私欲和邪念，以及不为人知的卑劣，丑陋不堪。

我不可能离开夜鸦学院。

撒泼打滚，专横跋扈，使出浑身解数，我的无能令我夺得了他们善意的施舍，Ace，Deuce，Cater，Trey，他们是我在夜鸦学院最初的归宿，是我值得用一切去换取的存在，装疯卖傻也要死皮赖脸的呆在这风暴中的一尾扁舟。

甚至于即便我每日必做的功课就有痛骂亚萨西的不仁不义，但我不得不承认，他是令监督生得以存在的基石。

若学园长没有答应让我留下来，监督生就不会存在。

我就不复存在。

柴郡猫深邃的眼睛直视我的头顶，我抬不起头，脖颈寸寸弯折下去，他的目光仿佛有千斤重。

“那么，如果监督生不想离开这里的话，为什么不求救呢？”

“为什么你从没有一丝一毫向他们求助的念头呢？”

我的回答仿佛嗫嚅。

“我可以求救吗？”

我能配得上向他们求救的资格吗？

这场对话无疾而终。

某种意义上我真的很有把天聊死的天赋，在这方面Idia和我师出同门，不同的是他的结尾通常是别人强行抑制住想要给他一拳的念头，而我则是叫所有巧舌如簧的说客无话可说。

“祝福”持续了七天。

余下的三天里柴郡猫拒绝出现在我眼前，他好像被我噎了个半死，炸毛炸得如同看到了虫子的Jamil，那对灵巧的耳朵总会勾勾搭搭地出现在我的视线外围，待仔细望去，只见一地猫毛，定是平时睡眠不足，脱发严重，叫Vil看到了，少不了一顿说教。

我在第七天的夜里半梦半醒，隐约听到了Grim此起彼伏的鼾声，携着微暖的风一同刮在我的耳根，小破寮的窗锁永远是半灵半不灵，摸不清它罢工的规律，只是此地太过破烂，有旁边教学楼那栋宏伟的建筑衬托着，总没有哪个不长眼的小贼会来这栋废墟偷东西。

一只微凉的手抚上我的额头，困倦沉沉坠在我的眼皮上，挣扎着抬起一丝缝隙，是角太郎。

他踏着月光而来，像宏伟传说中神圣而庄严的精灵，祖母绿色的眼眸美得惊心动魄，我贫瘠的字典中没有任何一个词语可以形容他不可亵渎的高洁。

“问吧，人之子，”角太郎的声音如同叹息，“什么都可以，仅限今晚。”

我相信这是一个美好的梦境，而梦境会原谅人类一切的失礼，我不愿承认的所有已经在七天的光阴里消磨得不成人形，唯独最为难以启齿的情愫还在苦苦支撑。

但他出现的时候，我知道我已没有任何逃避的余地。

舌尖抵上上颚，那句话没有经过大脑的指令，就这么自行的滑了出来。

“角太郎，告诉我你的名字。”

我转过头，朦胧的眼睛望向他，视线几乎是温柔的。

末了，启唇。

他深深的，深深的看了我一眼，仿佛在做最后的确认。

“Malleus。”

“Malleus Draconia。”

我从被单中伸出手，抓住角太郎的手腕，果然是梦，因为他没有闪躲。

“角太郎，那我也告诉你一件事。”

我本应该意外，我本应该惊讶，我本应该如往常从床铺上弹跳而起，一边高呼一边叫醒我能找到的所有人，可我没有作出如上任何反应。

只是牵引着他的手穿过单薄的衣物，按压在我微微隆起的胸膛上，知觉陷入沉寂，身上忽然没有了任何的力气。

“我是女孩子来着。”

在放肆的最后交出全部底牌，而后继续深眠。

不要让我再做梦了。


End file.
